Annoyances

I have to get a few things off of my chest that have been bothering me for a couple of months now.  Back in January I decided to start playing soccer.  When looking for a league to play on I chose to play in the lowest league possible as this was my first time playing.  Now by lowest league I mean the elderly and the injured.  I am coming off of a back injury and didn't want to hurt myself again.  Yet, every team we have played so far has thought that they were playing in the world cup.  At the first couple of games I was quite intimidated.  After last nights game I am angry.  When did recreational sports become so competitive?  This league was formed to give those with handicaps the ability to play and get exercise.  Yet when others resort to cheating and ruff play that is taking it to far.  In an act of frustration someone on the other team decided to wail the ball down to the other end of the field.  He did not really care about the people surrounding him.  And in true Mary style I was at the right place at the right moment and stopped the ball with my face.  As of this morning I still can't feel my left cheek.  This individual was on the other team by the way.  Seconds later I am tackled from behind, yet again (and with out the ball) and taken to the ground.  Now I have a cut on the palm of my hand and I am missing feeling on the entire left side of my face.  What did the experience teach me.  Well in the moment to fight fire with fire.  Now do not think that I have nor will ever have stoop to such a low level.  But, what I did do was ask a member on my team how to handle the situation fairly.  He explained to me the rules when in comes to charging and what I was to do to not get a penalty.  So yes, I would be lying if I didn't say I did not get pissed at the lack of sportsmanship.  But instead of hurting others I used that anger to safeguard myself while getting my point across.  You want to charge me? I am OK with that.  You have the look of kill in your eyes as you are doing the charge? I am OK with that too.  But know that I am now a wall and I will not be knocked around so easily.  When the old tactics didn't work they decided to wine to the ref and get me called on certain plays.  Nothing happened.  I didn't do anything but stand my ground as you were charging me to knock me on my ass.  can I help it that I had a few seconds to plant my feet and position my body so that I was a wall and you were the tennis ball bouncing off of it? NO.  Lesson learned with this first annoyance.  Getting angry in this situation can be both bad and good it is what we choose to do with that anger in the moment that will make all the difference.  I chose to use my anger as a strength rather than a weakness.  I let it fuel the energy I was feeling to do well.  I didn't choose to use it to hurt someone else.  Might I add that I have noticed I am really developing some mad skills with the footwork.  guess I can use the garage gym to practice my fake outs. 


Second annoyance,
Why is it that no matter what we are doing on the Internet if we have to sign in they put that stupid screen up (making sure we are not computers) and asking us to type a world that is jumbled and altered.  Um hello, that program was created by a computer and there are several way to get around it if you have the know how.  The reason why I am annoyed with this is 9 out of 10 times I can't figure out what the word is and have to repeat the process over and over and over again. 


Just had to get those off of my chest and I feel so much better right now (emotionally) physically I feel like I was hit by a mack truck.  With post a picture of the injury on my hand when I get a chance.  By the way I did a poll a month ago asking is it worse to get a grass burn or a fake grass burn.  As I have received several of both I must stated that the fake grass hurts so much more!


Till next time!

MS

Today

Today we are going to get to spend 4 fun filled hours at the Peanut Farm.  Why you ask? Because I refuse to allow TV in the house and my husband is a Patriots Fan.  He waited all week to see if others would be watching the game, but it seems that he is the only one interested.  He never likes to invite himself to take part in things with others so he came up with a plan B.  Why are Tony and I going? Because my husband seems to think it would look strange if he walked in by himself to have lunch and then stayed for 3-4 hours.  So needless to say we are going with him.  Thankfully, they have Wi-Fi and I have my computer so I will be able to go onto Hulu and watch something other than the Superbowl.  I haven't come up with a way to get around the amount of time we will be there.  It doesn't even take a sloth 3-4 hours to eat a meal.
I really do hope they win since I am going through all of this trouble and I do not even like the game!

I have Anxiety and I survive!

At the request of someone I care about I am writing this blog.  Many who know me know that I suffer from Anxiety.  I am not ashamed of this.  What makes me mad and sad at the same time is how others perceive this condition.  Having any kind of mental disability is not the fault of the inflected.  In most cases it is a chemical imbalance in our brains.  Anxiety and depression are really not different than any other disability such as ADHD, ADD & Dyslexia. 
Why do we treat someone with this malady so poorly.  I should be commended because I recognized that there was a problem and I do everything I can to keep it under control.  Life is hard enough with this daily battle.  We do not need others looking down on us or condemning us for this condition.  We need you to be there to hold our hand and get us through the down moments.
Everyone is quick to jump on the bandwagon and post (re post) comments about supporting someone in my situation but how many of them have.  Lets just say I am open about my condition and I can count on one hand the number of people who support me. 
I have anxiety and depression! I do not have some highly contagious and life threatening illness.  When you are talking down to someone who is like me remember there is no one who can do more damage than ourselves.  I live my life like the rest of you, the only difference is I have to take medication everyday to keep my emotions under control!  My worst moments are usually when I am highly stressed, over tired, or in one of several situations that make me feel out of control.  So far the biggest problem I have experienced is the lack of sleep and the inability to purchase Items while shopping.  Most would wonder why but to make it simple it is the idea of not having enough money and having to put things back.  This scares the crap out of me and I will break out in a cold sweat.  I am so thank full for those who are in my life.  I wouldn't be able to grocery shop without my husband.  I am fine putting the stuff in the cart, I keep tabs on the amount being spent, I know what the budget is for the trip, but still he is the one that pays for the items.
Continue to look down on me and talk about me behind my back if you must but know this.... I am going to continue to fight for everyday I get. I am going to make others in my situation feel loved and cared about.  Help them to understand that they are not alone in this battle we have to face daily.  Because it is a battle and taking the easy way out holds no appeal for me.  So the next time you are making fun of someone who is in a similar situation or you condemn someone because of something they can not control remember you might be that last piece of straw that broke the camels back!

until next time
MS